


i just want a team of Zubats

by microphoneMessiah



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-13
Updated: 2012-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-03 13:36:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/microphoneMessiah/pseuds/microphoneMessiah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I asked my friend to throw ideas at me.</p><p>Thus, I give you EriGam moirallegience without a single regret.</p><p>(btw, this ship is called PurplePajamaParty)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i just want a team of Zubats

_it's raining men._

 

"Why the fuck didn't you pack the flashlights like I told you to? We're gonna be stuck here sittin' in the dark for the next, like, 10 hours!" Eridan seethed. With a pout he wrapped his cape around him and glared off at one of the walls. He had told his incompetent moirail that, yes, he had to pack all of their supplies into the emergency kit. Yes, storm season was coming up. And, no, he could not go rap with Tavros instead.

No, he needs to get his drugged out ass back here right now.

Regardless of Eridan's many orders and general nagging, several key supplies failed to make it in. So, now they were stuck in Gamzee's basement with little to their preparedness pack besides a few comic books, faygo, a pack of dried ramen, and a gameboy advance sp. Ugh, fuck his luck.

"Aww, come on, man; it ain't that motherfuckin' bad. Look, we can just chill our asses here and crack back some o' this fine bubbly until the storm passes." Gamzee offers him a smile, though Eridan really can't see it in the dark. Eridan can feel it though and he's not sure whether that means that they really are good moirails, or if he just needs to spend a lot less time with him.

Instead of arguing over the fact that they were basically trapped in an empty, damp basement and thus: this shouldn't be fun; Eridan decides to say nothing. He decides, then, that the best use of this time would be to sit and reflect on all the poor choices he must have made to get him here, and oh cod, there are a lot of them. It's almost astounding how many fuck-ups he has. A majority of his conversations with everyone makes up the bulk of his list, but those were just him being a dick. He likes to think that maybe his new moirallegience has helped him somehow; Fef and everyone else are talking to him more, at least. Maybe if he kept being a good person or whatever, he could actually be more apart of his group? That seemed like a goo-

Where the fuck was that beeping coming from?

He glances over to see Gamzee currently zoned in on his gameboy. By the looks of it, Gamzee is playing Pokemon and is just about to capture a Zubat from within one of the caves. Wait, no.

"Gam, hand that here; you're playin' wrong?" Eridan outstretches his hand towards Gamzee, expecting to have the game handed to him. Needless to say, he's surpised when there is no cheap plastic in his hand and Gamzee is just staring at him with the pout on his face lit by the screen.

"Naw. I'm all up and about to be catching this flying motherfucker. Then I'm gonna name him ZuBiggie and he'll be best bros with my other pokeman ZuPac."

"What? The game is called fuckin' _pokemon_ and hand it here. No one catches Zubats; they are the most useless pokemon in the entire game besides magikarps, but everyone knows fish beat landdwellers regardless of attacks and shit!" Eridan snarks at him, reaching to take the game out of Gamzee's hand.

Gamzee quickly moves the game away. "Motherfucker, Zubats are legit. My whole team is Zubats and I've only died a few times."

"That's 'cause you just started playing, you stupid clown! And what the actual fuck, Gam? Why would you make a whole team of useless, waste of space pokemon?" Eridan makes a few more half-hearted attempts at trying to snatch the game, but fails miserably. Fuck him and his fuckin' speed.

He glares at Eridan, continuing to keep the game out of his reach. "Back up, bro. You can play in a second, a'ight? Let me just save real quick and shit."  
Eridan backs off with a pout.

Wait...

"What do you mean save? You aren't saving over my save file are you?"

There's a robotic beep.

"What, man?"

"Gamzee, I swear to fuckin' christ if you saved over my file, I will cull you right here in this basement!" He screeched, jerking his hands towards Gamzee. "Give it here now, cod damn it!" Gamzee hands it to him and his eyes hungrily scan across the scene. He finds where his file should be.

Should be, as in it's not there.

"You stoned, wacked out juggalofuck. Gam, you deleted my file! Now, it's bein' replaced my Trainer DickHonk and his team of fuckin' Zubats!" Eridan bemoaned, throwing the gameboy across the basement floor. He brought his hands up over his eyes and groaned. "Oh my cod, I hate my life. How did I end up with you as a moirail? I really am a fuckin' joke, aren't I? Like, I'm such a huge joke that I actually had to have a clown as my moirail. Chuckles all around at Eridan the insane seadweller and his wasted bastard moirail."

It was quiet for a moment as Eridan thought to himself, musing on his life. Then Gamzee wrapped him up in a hug.

"Shoosh, man. Shooooosh." He starts to shoosh pap his fave fishy bro and eventually Eridan calms down. A couple of paps and he starts to lightly hug Gamzee back, letting him into his cape. They sat there like dorks, cuddling up in the warmth of his cape and just listening to a pipe drip water a little ways off.

"Hey, Eridan."

"What, Gam?"

"You know what we haven't done yet?"

"If you ask me to 'maybe make out a little', I will hang myself off that dripping pipe with my scarf."

"Naw." He laughs before pulling something out of the preparedness pack specibi. "We haven't slammed a faygo yet." He cracks open a bottle and takes a big gulp of it. After downing about half the bottle he hands another bottle over to Eridan. Of course, since they can't see, he just end up bumping it into Eridan's arm for awhile, but eventually he grabs it.

"Thanks." Eridan takes a swig of his bottle and just holds it in his hands. He looks over at Gamzee with a small smile. "I'm sorry for sayin' you were a bad moirail. That was a pretty fuckin' dick move of me and yeah, I'm reely sorry." Gamzee offers up his bottle to Eridan and they clink them together as if it were a fancy highblood party instead of a dark basement.

"Ain't no problem, brother, that is, if you can beat me in a contest." And there's a challenging tone to Gamzee's voice as he breaks into a grin.

Eridan looks at him determinedly. "What's the game?"

"First dude to finish his drink wins. You win, all is forgiven and you get to play the game until the battery runs out. I win, I get the game and you're wearing my make up for a day."

Eridan makes an indignant squack, "Gam, that's totally not fuckin' fair and you know it. I think the terms should be-"

"On your marks! Get set! Drink, motherfucker! Drink!" Gamzee laughs before starting to chug the rest of his bottle. His moirail is not amused by this but begins chugging his bottle too.

It ends with them finishing at about the same time and charging for the game; Gamzee laughing as he runs and Eridan cursing after him. It takes them but a second to get to the game since even though the game's screen is lit, there are tons of piles of junk in Gamzee's basement and they both end up tripping over things.

They get there at the same time and Eridan declares that they play rock-paper-scissors to decide who wins the whole thing. This match goes on for over an hour because, 'gam is fuckin' cheatin' and 'naw, bro, you waited until i threw my hand down. that shit don't work. redo.' By the time it's decided that Gamzee wins, which he says is due to miracles and Eridan says is due to bullshit luck Gamzee needs to stop labeling as miracles, the gameboy is dead.

Somehow, the storm has cleared too, but Eridan decides to spend the rest of the day in the dark with his moirail.

There are faygos to be slammed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Doesn't everyone want a team of Zubats? I think so.


End file.
